Navigating a Domestic Violence Accusation in New Jersey: A Veteran Attorney’s In-Depth Guide

The Severe Consequences & Stakes: More Than Just a “Dispute”

The issuance of a Final Restraining Order (FRO) in New Jersey is not a temporary measure; it is a permanent order with severe and far-reaching consequences that can fundamentally alter your life. Unlike in many other states, an FRO in New Jersey does not expire. It remains in effect forever unless one party successfully petitions the court to dissolve it, a difficult and rare process. The stakes are incredibly high from the moment an accusation is made.

Many individuals mistakenly underestimate the gravity of a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). They view it as a civil matter, a “cooling-off” period, or something that will simply go away. This is a dangerous misconception. The legal foundation for these orders is the New Jersey Prevention of Domestic Violence Act (PDVA), specifically N.J.S.A. 2C:25-17 et seq. This statute grants the court extraordinary power to protect victims, and the consequences for a defendant are correspondingly severe.

If a Final Restraining Order is entered against you, you must be prepared for the following immediate and long-term repercussions:

• Entry into a Domestic Violence Registry: Your name, photograph, and fingerprints will be entered into a statewide domestic violence registry accessible by law enforcement. This also gets reported to a national registry, which can create issues with travel and background checks in other states.
• Complete Forfeiture of Firearms: Under federal and state law, you will be permanently barred from owning or possessing any firearms or ammunition. You must surrender any weapons you own and your Firearms Purchaser Identification Card immediately.
• Impact on Custody and Parenting Time: An FRO can drastically affect your parental rights. The court’s primary concern is the safety of the child. This can result in the loss of custody, with parenting time potentially being reduced to supervised visits, if granted at all.
• Eviction from Your Home: The FRO can grant the plaintiff exclusive possession of a shared residence, regardless of whose name is on the lease or deed. You will be barred from returning to your own home.
• Professional and Employment Consequences: Many professional licensing boards (for doctors, lawyers, nurses, financial advisors, etc.) require disclosure of such orders. An FRO can trigger an investigation and lead to suspension or revocation of your professional license. It will appear on background checks, potentially jeopardizing current and future employment.
• Criminal Charges for Violation: Violating any term of the FRO—no matter how minor it seems—is a separate criminal offense known as “Contempt of a Court Order” (N.J.S.A. 2C:29-9). A simple text message, an email, a “like” on social media, or asking a friend to pass along a message can lead to your arrest, new criminal charges, and potential jail time. A second violation carries a mandatory minimum of 30 days in jail.
• Financial Burdens: The court can order you to pay financial support to the plaintiff, including rent/mortgage for a new residence, child support, and compensation for any losses resulting from the alleged abuse. You may also be ordered to pay the plaintiff’s attorney’s fees.
• Mandatory Counseling: You can be ordered by the court to attend and pay for domestic violence counseling or anger management programs.
• Immigration Consequences: For non-citizens, an FRO can be considered a significant negative factor in immigration proceedings, potentially affecting visa renewals, green card applications, and naturalization.

It is impossible to overstate the gravity of these consequences. An FRO is a permanent mark on your record that impacts your freedom, your family, your finances, and your reputation. This is why addressing the accusation with the utmost seriousness from the very beginning is not just advisable; it is essential for protecting your future.

What Constitutes Domestic Violence in NJ? The 19 Predicate Acts

In New Jersey, a domestic violence complaint is not based on a vague feeling of being threatened. To obtain a restraining order, the plaintiff must prove that the defendant committed one or more of 19 specific criminal offenses, known as “predicate acts,” as defined in N.J.S.A. 2C:25-19(a). It is not enough to show that the parties had a fight; the alleged conduct must fit the legal definition of one of these crimes.

For a court to have jurisdiction under the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act, the plaintiff must first establish they are a “victim of domestic violence,” which requires a specific relationship with the defendant. This includes a spouse, former spouse, current or former household member, someone with whom the defendant has a child or is expecting a child, or someone with whom the defendant has had a dating relationship.

If that relationship exists, the court then looks to see if one of these 19 predicate acts occurred:

1. Homicide (N.J.S.A. 2C:11-1 et seq.)
2. Assault (N.J.S.A. 2C:12-1): Causing or attempting to cause bodily injury to another, from a simple push (simple assault) to serious injury (aggravated assault).
3. Terroristic Threats (N.J.S.A. 2C:12-3): Threatening to commit a crime of violence with the purpose to terrorize another.
4. Kidnapping (N.J.S.A. 2C:13-1): Unlawfully removing or confining another for a substantial period.
5. Criminal Restraint (N.J.S.A. 2C:13-2): Knowingly restraining another unlawfully in circumstances exposing them to risk of serious bodily injury.
6. False Imprisonment (N.J.S.A. 2C:13-3): Knowingly restraining another unlawfully so as to interfere substantially with their liberty.
7. Sexual Assault (N.J.S.A. 2C:14-2): An act of sexual penetration under circumstances of force or coercion.
8. Criminal Sexual Contact (N.J.S.A. 2C:14-3): Intentional touching of intimate parts for the purpose of degrading or humiliating the victim or for sexual arousal.
9. Lewdness (N.J.S.A. 2C:14-4): Knowingly exposing intimate parts under circumstances likely to be observed by a non-consenting person who would be offended.
10. Criminal Mischief (N.J.S.A. 2C:17-3): Purposely or knowingly damaging tangible property of another.
11. Burglary (N.J.S.A. 2C:18-2): Entering a structure without license or privilege to do so, with the purpose to commit an offense therein.
12. Criminal Trespass (N.J.S.A. 2C:18-3): Knowingly entering or remaining in a place where one is not licensed or privileged to be.
13. Harassment (N.J.S.A. 2C:33-4): Engaging in a course of alarming conduct or making communications in a manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm. This is one of the most frequently cited predicate acts.
14. Stalking (P.L.1992, c.209; N.J.S.A. 2C:12-10): A course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for their safety or the safety of a third person.
15. Criminal Coercion (N.J.S.A. 2C:13-5): Threatening to inflict harm or commit a criminal offense to restrict another’s freedom of action.
16. Robbery (N.J.S.A. 2C:15-1)
17. Contempt of a domestic violence order (N.J.S.A. 2C:29-9b)
18. Cyber-harassment (N.J.S.A. 2C:33-4.1): Making a communication online with the purpose to harass another.
19. Any other crime involving risk of death or serious bodily injury.

Recently, New Jersey law was updated to include “coercive control” as part of the pattern of abuse the court can consider. While not a standalone predicate act, evidence of coercive control—such as isolating a person from family, controlling their finances, or monitoring their movements—can be used to demonstrate the need for a restraining order and establish a history of abuse.

Understanding these specific definitions is crucial. An FRO hearing is not a general airing of grievances. It is a quasi-criminal proceeding where the plaintiff must prove, by a preponderance of the evidence, that you committed a specific, legally defined act.

The Legal Process: From TRO to FRO Hearing in 10 Days

The New Jersey domestic violence legal process is designed for speed to protect victims, creating an incredibly compressed timeline for the accused. From the moment you are served with a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) by a police officer, a clock starts ticking. A court date for a Final Restraining Order (FRO) hearing will typically be set within 10 days, a period during which your life is turned upside down.

This process unfolds in the Family Part of the Superior Court in the county where the alleged act occurred, where the plaintiff resides, or where the defendant resides. It is a civil proceeding, but it runs parallel to any criminal charges that may have been filed in criminal court. These are two separate tracks, with different standards of proof and different judges.

Step 1: The Ex Parte Temporary Restraining Order (TRO)

The process begins when an alleged victim files a complaint with the Family Division of the Superior Court or, after hours, with their local police department. They will speak to a judge (in person or by phone) in what is called an “ex parte” proceeding—meaning you are not present and have no opportunity to tell your side of the story. The judge only hears from the plaintiff. If the judge finds there is “good cause” to believe an act of domestic violence occurred and that a restraining order is necessary to prevent immediate danger, they will issue a TRO.

Once issued, law enforcement will serve you with the TRO documents. This order is effective immediately. It will typically bar you from the shared residence, prohibit any contact with the plaintiff (direct or indirect), and may include temporary custody arrangements and financial obligations. You will also be required to surrender any firearms.

Step 2: The 10-Day Period

This is the critical window to prepare your defense. You must comply with every single term of the TRO without fail. Any violation, intentional or not, will result in your arrest. This period should be used to gather evidence, identify witnesses, and secure knowledgeable legal counsel. You cannot afford to wait.

Step 3: The Final Restraining Order (FRO) Hearing

The FRO hearing is a formal trial before a Superior Court Judge. There is no jury. Both you and the plaintiff have the right to be represented by an attorney, present evidence (such as text messages, emails, photos, police reports), call witnesses, and cross-examine the other party and their witnesses.

To grant an FRO, the judge must find that two things have been proven by a “preponderance of the evidence” (meaning it is more likely than not):

1. A Predicate Act Occurred: The plaintiff must prove that you committed one of the 19 predicate acts listed in the statute.
2. A Restraining Order is Necessary for Protection: The judge must find that an FRO is necessary to protect the plaintiff from future acts of domestic violence. This is known as the second prong of the Silver v. Silver test, a key piece of New Jersey case law. The judge will consider the history of abuse between the parties, the plaintiff’s fear, and the context of the relationship.

If the plaintiff fails to prove either of these two prongs, the TRO must be dismissed. If the judge finds both prongs are satisfied, a Final Restraining Order will be issued. As stated before, this order is permanent. It does not expire. The only way to remove it is by filing a formal motion to the court at a later date and satisfying the rigorous standards of the Carfagno factors, which requires showing a significant change in circumstances.

The SRIS FRO Hearing Preparation Checklist Tool

Facing a Final Restraining Order (FRO) hearing on a compressed timeline can be overwhelming. As your court date approaches, organization is paramount. This checklist is a practical tool designed to help you systematically prepare for this critical hearing. It is not legal advice but a guide to help you work effectively with your legal counsel.

Phase 1: Immediate Actions (First 48 Hours After Service)

• [ ] Read Every Word of the TRO: Understand all conditions, especially no-contact provisions and locations you are barred from.
• [ ] Comply 100% with the TRO: Immediately vacate any prohibited residence. Cease all direct and indirect contact. This includes text, email, social media, and messages through third parties.
• [ ] Surrender Firearms: Contact local law enforcement to arrange the immediate and lawful surrender of all firearms and your FID card as ordered. Get a receipt.
• [ ] Secure Legal Counsel: Contact and retain an attorney experienced in New Jersey domestic violence defense. Time is your most critical asset.
• [ ] Calendar the Hearing Date: Note the date, time, and location of your FRO hearing. Clear your entire day for court.

Phase 2: Evidence Gathering (Days 3-7)

Work with your attorney to identify and gather all potentially relevant evidence. Organize it chronologically.

• [ ] Communications:
  • [ ] Collect and preserve all text messages, emails, voicemails, and social media messages between you and the plaintiff. Do not delete anything. Provide the full context, not just select messages.
  • [ ] Note the date, time, and content of key conversations.
• [ ] Documents:
  • [ ] Gather police reports related to the incident(s) in the complaint.
  • [ ] Collect any relevant medical records (if you were injured).
  • [ ] Assemble financial records, leases, or deeds if property or support is an issue.
• [ ] Photographs and Videos:
  • [ ] Collect any photos or videos that support your version of events (e.g., photos showing no damage to property if criminal mischief is alleged, photos of your own injuries if you claim self-defense).
• [ ] Witness Identification:
  • [ ] Make a list of every person who has firsthand knowledge of the incident(s) or your relationship with the plaintiff. Firsthand knowledge is key—they must have seen or heard something themselves.
  • [ ] Provide your attorney with their names and contact information. Discuss with your attorney who would be a credible and effective witness.

Phase 3: Case Preparation with Your Attorney (Days 7-10)

• [ ] Create a Written Chronology: Write a detailed, factual timeline of events leading up to and including the incidents alleged in the complaint. Be specific with dates, times, and what happened. This is for your attorney’s use.
• [ ] Review the Plaintiff’s Complaint: Go through the TRO complaint line by line with your attorney and provide your response to each allegation.
• [ ] Prepare Your Testimony: Work with your attorney to prepare your testimony. Practice answering questions clearly and concisely. Focus on the facts.
• [ ] Prepare for Cross-Examination: Discuss with your attorney the questions you are likely to be asked by the plaintiff’s attorney or the judge and how to respond calmly and factually.
• [ ] Organize Your Evidence: Ensure all evidence you plan to present (texts, photos) is properly formatted for court (e.g., printed out, on a USB drive as per court rules) and shared with your attorney well before the hearing date.

Strategic Approaches to a Domestic Violence Accusation

A successful defense in a Final Restraining Order hearing requires a focused, evidence-based strategy tailored to the specific facts of your case. It is not about attacking the plaintiff’s character; it is about challenging the legal requirements the plaintiff must meet. Your entire defense will center on disproving one or both prongs of the Silver v. Silver test.

From my decades of experience in New Jersey’s Family Courts, the most effective strategies are grounded in facts and a deep understanding of the law. This means methodically deconstructing the plaintiff’s case. Here are several strategic pillars that form the foundation of a robust defense:

1. Challenging the Predicate Act

The plaintiff has the burden of proving you committed a specific predicate act. Often, a strong defense involves demonstrating that the alleged conduct, while perhaps unpleasant or part of a dysfunctional argument, does not legally rise to the level of harassment, assault, or any of the other 18 offenses.

• Context is Key for Harassment: Harassment (N.J.S.A. 2C:33-4) requires proof of a “purpose to harass.” A flurry of angry text messages during a breakup might be subjectively annoying, but do they show a purpose to cause alarm or seriously annoy, or are they merely “ordinary domestic contretemps”—the normal tumult of a failing relationship? Presenting the full conversation, rather than just the cherry-picked messages in the plaintiff’s complaint, can provide critical context that negates the required intent.
• Self-Defense: If an act of assault occurred, was it an act of self-protection? If you can provide credible testimony or evidence (such as your own injuries or witness accounts) that you were responding to an imminent threat from the plaintiff, this can be a complete defense to an assault allegation. The force used must be reasonable and necessary under the circumstances.
• Lack of Credible Evidence: The plaintiff’s testimony is evidence, but is it credible? Pointing out inconsistencies in their story—differences between the complaint, their testimony, and what they told police—can undermine their entire case. Without corroborating evidence like photos, independent witnesses, or medical records, the case may come down to a “he said, she said” scenario where the plaintiff may fail to meet their burden of proof.

2. Disproving the Need for a Restraining Order (The Second Prong)

Even if the judge believes a predicate act occurred, they must still find that a restraining order is necessary for the plaintiff’s future protection. This is a separate and distinct requirement.

• Isolated Incident: You can argue that the incident, while unfortunate, was isolated and not part of a pattern of control or abuse. If there is no prior history of domestic violence, no police calls, and no previous TROs, it weakens the argument that the plaintiff is in ongoing danger requiring a permanent order.
• No Fear of Imminent Danger: The court will assess the plaintiff’s subjective fear and whether that fear is objectively reasonable. Evidence that the plaintiff continued to communicate voluntarily with you, met with you, or did not express fear to others after the alleged incident can be used to argue that they are not truly in fear of imminent harm.
• Ulterior Motive: While this must be handled carefully, sometimes a TRO is sought to gain a tactical advantage in a pending divorce or custody battle. If there is evidence that the plaintiff threatened to file for a restraining order to get you out of the house or to secure custody, this can be presented to the court to show the complaint was filed in bad faith and not out of a genuine need for protection.

3. The Dual-Track Reality: Managing the Civil and Criminal Cases

It’s vital to remember that an accusation can spawn two cases: the civil FRO case in Family Court and a separate criminal charge (e.g., for assault) in Criminal Court. Testimony in your FRO hearing can potentially be used against you in the criminal case. This creates a complex strategic situation. Asserting your Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination in the FRO hearing is an option, but it can have negative consequences, as the judge in the civil case may draw an adverse inference from your silence. This is a delicate balancing act that absolutely requires the guidance of a knowledgeable attorney who can advise on the risks and benefits of testifying based on the specifics of both cases.

Critical Mistakes to Avoid When Accused of Domestic Violence

In my years of practice, I’ve seen individuals make the same critical errors time and again, often with devastating results for their case. The period immediately following a domestic violence accusation is a minefield. Avoiding these common pitfalls is paramount.

1. Violating the TRO in Any Way: This is the most common and damaging mistake. People think one “harmless” text to explain themselves or apologize won’t matter. It matters immensely. Any contact—a call, email, social media message, asking a mutual friend to “just tell them…”—is a violation. It leads to your arrest for contempt of court, undermines your credibility before the judge, and virtually guarantees an FRO will be granted.
2. Believing the Plaintiff Can “Drop the Charges”: While a plaintiff can request to dismiss a TRO, the decision is not theirs alone. A judge must approve the dismissal and will question the plaintiff to ensure they are not being coerced or intimidated. Furthermore, if criminal charges were filed by the police, the plaintiff cannot “drop” them. The case is brought by the State of New Jersey, not the individual, and only the prosecutor can decide to dismiss a criminal charge.
3. Trying to Talk to the Plaintiff: Do not attempt to “work things out” or “get your side of the story across” to the accuser after a TRO is issued. This is a direct violation of the no-contact order. All communication must cease. Your side of the story will be told in court, through your attorney.
4. Posting About the Case on Social Media: Assume that anything you post online will be found and used against you. A frustrated rant, a cryptic quote, or photos of you out with friends can be twisted and presented to the judge as evidence that you are not taking the situation seriously, are angry and vengeful, or are not credible. Go completely silent on social media regarding the case and the plaintiff.
5. Failing to Take the FRO Hearing Seriously: Showing up to court without an attorney, without having gathered evidence, or treating it like an informal discussion is a recipe for disaster. This is a formal trial. You must be prepared, dress professionally, and act with respect toward the court and all parties. The judge is observing your demeanor and credibility from the moment you enter the courtroom.
6. Deleting Evidence: Do not delete text messages, emails, or social media posts. Destroying potential evidence can be viewed very negatively by the court and may be considered Spoliation of Evidence, which can lead to adverse inferences against you. Preserve everything, even if you think it is unfavorable. Your attorney needs the full picture to build an effective defense.
7. Waiting to Hire an Attorney: The 10-day window between a TRO and an FRO hearing is incredibly short. Every day that passes without seasoned legal guidance is a day lost in preparing your defense. The complexity of the law, evidence rules, and court procedure makes self-representation extremely risky in these high-stakes hearings.

Glossary of Key New Jersey Domestic Violence Terms

Predicate Act

One of the 19 specific criminal offenses (e.g., assault, harassment, stalking) listed in N.J.S.A. 2C:25-19(a) that must be proven to have occurred for a domestic violence finding.

Temporary Restraining Order (TRO)

An initial, temporary court order granted on an “ex parte” basis (with only the plaintiff present) to provide immediate protection. It sets a date for a final hearing, usually within 10 days.

Final Restraining Order (FRO)

A permanent court order issued after a full trial where both parties have the right to be heard. In New Jersey, an FRO does not expire.

Ex Parte

A legal proceeding brought by one person in the absence of and without representation or notification of other parties. TROs are issued ex parte.

Preponderance of the Evidence

The standard of proof in a civil FRO hearing. It means the evidence shows it is “more likely than not” (greater than 50% probability) that the allegations are true.

Silver v. Silver

The landmark New Jersey case establishing the two-part test a judge must apply before granting an FRO: 1) A predicate act occurred, and 2) A restraining order is necessary for the plaintiff’s future protection.

Carfagno Factors

A set of factors from the case Carfagno v. Carfagno that a court must weigh when considering a defendant’s motion to dissolve a permanent FRO. This requires showing a significant change in circumstances since the order was issued.

Common Scenarios & Questions

Scenario 1: The “Heated Breakup” Texts

Question: “My ex and I had a terrible breakup. We both sent a lot of angry, nasty text messages back and forth for days. Now I’ve been served with a TRO alleging harassment. I never threatened her, but I said some things I regret. Can I really get a permanent restraining order for this?”

Perspective: This is a classic “harassment” scenario. The key legal question is whether the communications were made with a “purpose to harass.” The court will look at the entire context. If the texts were part of a mutual, albeit toxic, exchange, an attorney can argue that this is an “ordinary domestic contretemps” rather than a one-sided course of alarming conduct. The defense would focus on demonstrating that there was no intent to cause genuine alarm and that the plaintiff’s participation in the exchange shows a lack of fear, potentially negating the second prong of the Silver test.

Scenario 2: The “He Said, She Said” Allegation

Question: “My spouse accused me of pushing them during an argument in our kitchen. There were no witnesses, no cameras, and no injuries. I never touched them. Now I have an FRO hearing. How can they prove this if it’s just their word against mine?”

Perspective: In a “he said, she said” case, credibility is everything. The judge will listen to both testimonies and decide who is more believable. The plaintiff’s testimony, if deemed credible by the judge, can be enough to satisfy the “preponderance of the evidence” standard. The defense strategy here is to meticulously scrutinize the plaintiff’s story for inconsistencies. Does their testimony in court match what they wrote in the complaint? Does it match what they told the police? Any variation can be used to impeach their credibility. Furthermore, a history of false accusations or a clear motive to lie (like gaining an advantage in a divorce) can be critical to the defense.

Scenario 3: The Unwanted Contact

Question: “I was served with a TRO that says I can’t contact my ex or go to our old apartment. I just need to get my work tools and clothes. Can I just call her to arrange a time? She knows I need my stuff.”

Perspective: Absolutely not. This is a trap many fall into. Calling her is a direct violation of the TRO and will lead to your arrest. The proper procedure is to contact the local police department and arrange for a “civil standby” or “police escort.” An officer will accompany you to the residence at a scheduled time to retrieve essential personal belongings. You will typically be given a very short amount of time and will not be permitted to speak to the plaintiff. All communication must be handled through official channels or attorneys, never directly.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

1. Do I absolutely need an attorney for an FRO hearing?

While you have the right to represent yourself, it is exceptionally unwise. The rules of evidence apply, the legal standards are complex, and the consequences of losing are permanent. An experienced attorney knows how to cross-examine witnesses, present evidence correctly, and make legal arguments based on statute and case law. The stakes are far too high to navigate this alone.

2. What happens if I don’t show up for the FRO hearing?

If you were properly served with the TRO and fail to appear, the judge will likely hold the hearing without you. They will hear testimony only from the plaintiff, and it is almost certain that a Final Restraining Order will be entered against you by default.

3. Can text messages really be used as evidence?

Yes. Text messages, emails, voicemails, and social media posts are routinely admitted as evidence in FRO hearings. It is critical to preserve all communications, as the full context is often essential to your defense. Evidence must be presented in a specific format, so you must work with your attorney to prepare it for court.

4. If the plaintiff contacts me, can I respond?

No. The restraining order only applies to you. It does not restrain the plaintiff. If they contact you, do not respond. To do so is a violation on your part. Preserve their attempt to communicate, do not engage, and immediately inform your attorney. This can be valuable evidence to show the plaintiff is not actually in fear of you.

5. Will a domestic violence accusation show up on a background check?

A criminal charge will appear on a criminal background check. A Final Restraining Order is a civil matter but results in your inclusion in the Domestic Violence Registry. Many comprehensive background checks, especially for professional licensing or sensitive employment, will uncover the existence of an FRO.

6. How long does the FRO hearing usually take?

It can range from an hour to a full day or more, depending on the complexity of the case, the number of witnesses, and the amount of evidence. You should clear your entire day for the hearing, as courts often have crowded dockets.

7. What’s the difference between being charged with criminal assault and having an FRO for assault?

They are two separate cases on parallel tracks. The criminal charge is brought by the State in Criminal Court, where the standard of proof is “beyond a reasonable doubt” and a conviction can lead to jail time and a criminal record. The FRO is a civil matter in Family Court, sought by the individual plaintiff, where the standard of proof is a lower “preponderance of the evidence.” You can be found not guilty in criminal court but still have a permanent FRO issued against you in civil court.

8. Can I get an FRO removed later?

Yes, but it is very difficult. You must file a formal motion with the court and prove that there has been a significant change in circumstances since the order was entered, using the Carfagno factors. This is a complex legal process that requires demonstrating, among other things, that the victim is no longer in fear. It is not an automatic process.

9. I was just defending myself. Is that a valid defense?

Yes. Self-defense is a valid legal defense. However, you must prove that your actions were a reasonable and necessary response to a threat of force from the plaintiff. You cannot be the aggressor. Presenting evidence of your own injuries, or witness testimony to the plaintiff’s aggression, is key to this defense.

10. My ex lied in the complaint. What can I do?

The FRO hearing is your opportunity to challenge those lies with facts and evidence. This is done through your own testimony and, most importantly, through the cross-examination of the plaintiff by your attorney. Exposing contradictions, inconsistencies, and a lack of corroborating evidence is the primary way to defeat a complaint based on false allegations.

11. If I agree to counseling, will the judge dismiss the TRO?

Not automatically. While showing a willingness to address issues can be viewed positively, the judge’s primary duty is to apply the two-prong Silver test. The case will not be dismissed simply because you agree to attend counseling. The judge must still determine if a predicate act occurred and if an FRO is necessary for protection.

12. What if we have children together? How will I see them?

The TRO will specify temporary custody and parenting time. Often, it suspends parenting time entirely until the FRO hearing. At the hearing, the judge will make a ruling on custody and visitation as part of the FRO. If an FRO is granted, parenting time is often ordered to be supervised, at least initially, and all exchanges of the children must be arranged to avoid contact between the parties.

13. Can a restraining order be used to gain an advantage in our divorce?

It is a common concern that one party may file for a TRO to get the other out of the marital home or to create leverage in a custody dispute. If there is evidence to suggest this is the plaintiff’s true motive—such as emails or texts threatening to do so—it can be powerful evidence to argue the complaint was filed in bad faith and not out of genuine fear.

14. Does it matter who owns or rents the house?

No. The Prevention of Domestic Violence Act gives the court the power to grant exclusive possession of the shared residence to the plaintiff, even if your name is on the deed or lease and the plaintiff’s is not. This is one of the most immediate and shocking consequences for many defendants.

15. How much does it cost to handle an FRO case?

The cost will vary depending on the complexity of the case. However, given the permanent and severe consequences of an FRO, retaining a seasoned legal professional should be viewed as a necessary investment in protecting your entire future—your relationship with your children, your career, and your fundamental rights.